Going from one youngster to 2 is a giant change! And it’s not simply mother and father who must prepare — your firstborn does too.
As a social employee and a mother, I needed to assist my daughter alter to being a giant sister. Listed here are some ideas that labored for our household:
BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES
- Contain your youngster early
The earlier you contain your youngster in getting ready for a brand new sibling, the higher! This can give her extra time to regulate. Permit her to ask questions. Relying upon her age, let her pick objects for the nursery or go to physician’s appointments. - Use easy and repetitive language
Name your youngster a giant sister or brother. Level to the child in your stomach. Let him discuss to the child if he desires to. - Allow them to really feel their feelings
The anticipation of a brand new sibling can result in loads of totally different emotions! Permit her to really feel all of them, even when it’s not pleasure. You possibly can proceed to point out your delight despite the fact that she could not really feel that simply but. She could also be feeling concern, anger or frustration. - Spend one-on-one time collectively
Goal for every father or mother to spend high quality one-on-one time with the older sibling every day. And attempt to proceed this even after the child arrives. Simply 10-Quarter-hour every day might help her really feel reassured. This ought to be enjoyable and particular time to attach — not a time to show ABCs. - Use books and dolls
Books could be a useful gizmo to assist him perceive what to anticipate, methods to share, and potential feelings he’ll really feel. One instance is “I Am a Large Sister” or “I Am a Large Brother” by Caroline Jayne Church. Having a child doll might help him follow issues like feeding and altering diapers. - Make a countdown
Counting down the times helped my daughter perceive when the child would arrive. It additionally helped construct pleasure. As we received nearer, we took her for a enjoyable household outing. There we defined that she would go to together with her grandma and grandpa whereas we’re within the hospital with the child.
AFTER BABY ARRIVES
- Anticipate regressive behaviors
Regressive behaviors are doubtless after a significant life change! In different phrases, your youngster could return to a conduct he’s already outgrown. This might embody having potty accidents or wanting a pacifier after beforehand giving it up. I like to recommend not being reactionary or calling consideration to it. As an alternative, encourage good behaviors with labeled reward and incorporate extra high quality time collectively. - Preserve routines the identical
A brand new sibling is a sufficiently big change! Attempt to keep away from some other main transitions for 8-12 weeks after the child is born. For instance, in case your older youngster remains to be in a crib, wait earlier than switching to a giant child’s mattress. - Handle expectations aloud
You possibly can assist set the tone and handle expectations for each siblings by verbalizing them aloud — even when the child can’t perceive these phrases but. As an illustration, if the child is crying whereas I’m making lunch for my daughter, I don’t drop every little thing instantly. I’ll say, “One minute, I would like to complete lunch after which I’ll choose you up.” It helps my older daughter perceive that I’ll nonetheless meet her wants, too. And typically I put her first. - Allow them to assist (if they need)
In case your youngster desires to assist with the child, let him! It may encourage bonding. That mentioned, keep away from forcing it or exhibiting detrimental emotions if he isn’t . Giving particular reward for when he’s serving to and exhibiting kindness towards the child will assist to encourage extra of that fascinating conduct.
